on Marriage and Women in Leadership
some comments addressed to my pastor regarding this topic. Once
again, I pray you are blessed by this article...
Recently my daughter and I were discussing how even the women in
the church were succumbing to the womans lib movement.
We were talking about how they should not allow the worldly attitude
that has come into the church to influence them to step out of their
God-given femininity. I had told her that women dont realize
that their strength lies in their femininity, not in them acting
I especially see this
in women who hold leadership positions, or who are trying to get
in leadership positions in any arena that is male dominated, even
the church. There are many examples of women who saved their homes,
and nations without having to step outside of their role
Sam. 25: 18, 23-25, Esther-Esther 5: 1, 4-7, and Jael-Judges 4:
18-21], notice anything? I love being a woman, dont feel that
I have anything to prove, so I refuse to allow situations in our
world to force me to behave unnaturally.
As far as positioning,
I was thinking about Deborah in Judges 4: 4 - 9, how she was where
she was suppose to be, [she was married to Lapidoth, (covering),
and was operating in her calling], when she sent for Barak to inquire
as to why he wasnt operating in his. His refusal to do it
the way the Lord intended, [why didnt he just step
to the plate], led to Deborah letting him know in verse 9
that he would get no glory in the battle, but the glory will be
given to a woman. If a man will not do what the Lord wants, He will
use a woman in his stead, but that is not original intent.
This is also a curse that needs to be broken, women having to be
present because the men are absent
where are you
In spite of all of this,
you would probably be surprised to know that I dont believe
in women pasturing, or being the covering over a church.
I do believe she can co-pastor under her husband, and definitely
minister to men
Acts 18:26. Bishop, I just cant find
scripture to support a woman being the final authority in the chain
of command over the congregation, especially the men
3:12. Dont get me wrong, I have much respect for Pastor McCollough,
and Pastor Reems, and other women who are pastoring, [my best friend
in NY feels led to be a Pastor-we each have to operate from our
own convictions], and I can receive from them, I just
wouldnt become a member of their church.
When I was in Texas,
I was invited to co-host a radio show with a Prophet, and then to
team-teach at a small singles seminar with another Pastor, [I ministered
to the men, and he ministered to the women], I was so blessed by
the opportunities! During that time, sisters in leadership would
ask me to come under them, offering more opportunities
for ministry, but I didnt feel led. The reason I feel the
way I do is because of the revelation the Lord gave to me regarding
I Corinthians 11, allow me to explain
I know that in the spirit
there is neither male nor female
Galatians 3: 28,
so a sister can be just as bad as any brother in ministry.
But in the natural the Lord did set divine order, which is actually
for the womans protection because we are the weaker vessels.
It is written that the man is the covering and head of
I Corinthians 11: 3-12. This is why a man doesnt
need a covering because Christ is his Head, nothing should be between
him and God
verse 7. So, how does a woman cover a man
Corinthians11: 4, 7
he doesnt need covering,
not even from a man. Teaching, direction, instruction, even mentoring,
but not a covering, he is a covering.
When I looked up the
original definition of the words, covering or head
actually means that the man is, in the sense of seizing, the
part most readily taken hold of, first line of defense
in an attack, also, foremost, and the guide of the
house. When the enemy comes knocking, the man should be the first
one He runs into! This was one of the problems in the garden; Adam
should have been between the woman and the serpent.
Then scripture teaches
that the position of the women would be to encompass a man
31:22, which means we encircle, surround- [hold and comfort], and
shield our man, protect his vulnerable parts, [heart, emotions,
stomach, sexual organs]. We protect each other in different ways,
there is so much more to this but I will leave it here for now.
A woman cant cover me, so I dont place myself
under one in that capacity.
Also, I believe that
a wife shouldnt have to go to her Pastor for prayer, spiritual
guidance, etc. when she has a saved man at home. He should
be able to pray her through, able to be her minister in residence,
and they should come to church for further edification, fellowship,
and increased strength together. I feel the church is partially
to blame for the lack of this because men are not properly taught
on a consistent basis, by all the churches, regarding
their role, like women are. The world taught them sexuality, and
the church needs to teach them responsibility, naturally and spiritually.
The church is so afraid of running the men away, that
they have failed to reprimand them, to correct their thinking, and
teach them the truth, [some would do better if they knew better]
And why is it that women
are told by the church to get all this stuff to bring
to the table? The reason being so they wouldnt be needy, and
in return have better relationships. Then why is it that these women
are being used more now than ever before? Scriptures
teaches that the men brought the dowry to the marriage,
[start with Genesis 24: 10, 53], and the Proverbs 31 woman was industrious
with her husbands provisions. His labor is work, and
hers is childbirth
Gen. 3: 16-19.
Dont get me wrong,
I dont approve of laziness, [I raised four children, alone],
and I dont feel that a woman should be waiting around for
a man, or anyone else for that matter, [except the Lord], to rescue
her. I just think it is wrong for a woman to be taught to get possessions
to make herself more marketable to men. I wonder, which
represents more strength, to be able to make a stand for
Christ with nothing, or with everything? I never wanted to be rich,
or excessive, just comfortable
Proverbs 30: 8-9.
Personally, there are
times I wish the money aspect would be removed from
the church, and then we would see who is really called, and who
is really in love. Hmmm
Now, I got to
say something about husbands crossing the fence, [having
affairs]. I dont understand a few things so maybe you can
help me out. One of the reasons saved couples get married is so
they can make love, so why should a wife be expected to tolerate
her husbands infidelity, and play Russian roulette
with her health, [and her spirit], because he chooses to be greedy
Corinthians 7: 2? Would he be so tolerant of her in that same situation?
He would trip real hard if she climbed over the
fence because she had opportunity. [Am I hitting too close
to home, I think I am]
brothers need to remember that once
they marry, their bodies no longer belong to them
7: 4, that scripture does go both ways.
Let me tell you something
that happen to me several months ago, I was coming home from work
late one night and this brother rolled up on me. Generally
I wave them away, and I did this to him, but he parked and got out
the car. As I was reaching for my pepper spray, just in case, [oh,
yes], the Lord said for me to talk with him, so I paused. When he
started rapping to me, for some reason, [God], I asked
him if he was married, and he was truthful and said yes, [God, again].
He then said that although they were in the church, they were having
problems and could he take me to dinner so we could discuss
it, [you-all are so funny at times]. That was when I began
to minister to him.
First I told him, I couldnt
go to dinner with him because I would not hurt my sister like that
and although I didnt know her, she was still my sister in
Christ. Then I told him that all that stuff he had on
his mind when he rolled up on me, he needed to go home and do with
his wife. As he tried to justify, I said, Do you
know what the best sex is? He almost tripped,
until I answered my own questions with
the best sex
is married sex because you can make it as exciting as you
like it, and not have to repent afterwards. No shame, guilt, need
to repent, chastisement from the Lord, fear of discovery, or having
to sneak off. Just peace and joy
in the Holy Ghost. Now
that I had his attention, I was able to give him scriptures, explain
a little about how his wife might be feeling, and suggest counseling
for him and his wife. He was close to tears, so I asked him if I
could pray with him, and he accepted. I felt seeds were planted,
[bet he didnt expect that
LOL]. I wept
when I got home, praying that somehow the Lord used me to save a
marriage, and at the very least the enemy didnt use
me to destroy one.
Husbands need to think
about what they bring home from their adulterous behavior. It is
not just the possibility of disease, but there are soul ties
that are formed with each sexual encounter
I Cor. 6: 16. There
are other spirits that are with that woman he is fooling
around with besides the one she presents to entice him, [and besides
that spirit of adultery in operation]. After he has his fun,
he then goes home and makes love with his wife passing those spirits
into her, and she is afflicted by his affair more than
he knows. So besides her emotions, their commitment, and her trust,
he needs to guard her spirit as well.
While I am here, let
me just add this about first ladies because I feel sorry
for most of them.
I have had friends that
were first ladies, and when I worked on a church newsletter, I interviewed
my Pastors wife, and they have a lot to deal with. They have
to share their husbands with the congregation, the same congregation
that generally treats them like they are an obstacle, or non-existent,
or someone to be used for various reasons. Then, there are the aggressive
sisters, [with any man in the church, married or single, there is
at least three woman who believe he is their husband
and the number increases depending on his charisma, financial status,
and/or appearance-LOL]! Add the board members who embarrass him
in front of his wife and children in some churches, his absence
from the home, and maybe rearing the children mostly alone. Lets
not include her calling also, and [I believe if she
is a first lady, she is called, also]. If you
look at it, the weight of ministry is not just on him.
Now with all that she
has to deal with one would think that her husband would look
out for her, especially in this area. Why would he add
adultery to the burden she has to carry just because he has opportunity?
Shouldnt his love for her make him at least be merciful so
that just because he can, he doesnt? Must she share every
part of him? Shouldnt she have something that is especially
hers, since he did marry her? [I Corinthians 7: 3].
Then the church always
wants to put all the blame on the sisters for
the affair, [and yes there are some scandalous
women in the church]. Even to the point of calling them names, [church
whore or temple prostitute, [such ugly names].
I have often wondered, how does one minister to these women
once they have hurt and insulted them like this? Blaming the woman
8: 3-5, for going after some poor brother-minister-Pastor-Bishop.
Oh, come now, Bishop, you know, especially in todays church,
there is no way a woman can get next to you-all unless you allow
them to. It isnt rape, so why totally blame the woman? A man
can be safe, if he wants to be, Joseph ran
39: 10-12, [same situation today]. Yes, it may be difficult but
it is not impossible. A mans libido is no stronger
than most womens, [it is just activated differently].
Also, I dont look
for other women to look out for my relationship with
my mate, I look to my man, [and the Lord above], to protect what
I have with him, the man does have a choice. If men would be firm,
instead of flattered, then they would be more likely to protect
what they have at home. The way I check myself is this, would my
excuse, or reason, have validity before Christ?
People cant help
who they are attracted to, and feelings arent wrong, it is
how those feelings are acted upon that may be wrong. I appreciate
when someone admires anything I have, as long as they respect
that I have it. If the man is mine, he should make
that very plain, I shouldnt have to, so I dont. [This
is what I teach single women, and if they have to fight
over a man, he is not theirs anyway, so let him alone].
I am really praying that
one-day we [men and women] will understand one another. Maybe we
will get to that place of understanding once we stop being at
war with each other all the time. What we are trying
to win with all this fighting is beyond me though because
I thought the prize was the relationship, [God,
spouse, children], but I guess not. I hope that when someone finds
out what is worth all the fighting, they will let me in on it because
maybe I have desired the wrong thing all these years.
Bishop, there are issues
on both sides, [fo sho-smile], and although it is hard
to trust, women still want their man to be the man,
just as you said in your message. Sure, some of us test
the limits, but it is more to ensure security, than to try to take
over. It is more like locking up your house before going to bed,
and then going back rechecking, [pulling doors,
trying the windows, etc]; to make sure they are secure. Its
not even a deliberate attempt to take advantage, just some sort
of reassurance I guess, especially if she has been robbed
before. Most woman do not want a man weak for her because
then she does not respect him, she wants him to be balanced, and
she is most secure in the relationship, when he is sure of himself.
I think feeling "unprotected"
is a major issue with black women, feeling vulnerable from the very
beginning, having had to protect themselves all their lives, old
habits are hard to break. Then the church teaches single
women that they dont need, and shouldnt want a man,
[you know-if you are really spiritual
], and when marriage
comes, she is expected to make a 180 degree turn to respect, and
submission. Our singles ministry really needs to be revised.
Home - Testimony
- Spiritual Resume - Family
- Articles - Discussion
Board - Links - Contact
© 2002 Let The Prophets Speak!. All rights reserved.
Site Design by Tsmiles.com